


Love in the Apocalypse

by WinterdaySmoothie



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Post-Apocalypse, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterdaySmoothie/pseuds/WinterdaySmoothie
Summary: Ever wondered what Five and Delores did for fun in the post apocalyptic world? Don't wait any longer to find out-
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Love in the Apocalypse

Getting trapped in a post-apocalyptic world was a terrible thing, and Five Hargreeves had begun to acknowledge it since day one. Not only did he found himself to be completely isolated, with humankind eradicated from the planet, but also learning that his siblings had died in an attempt to save the world from the apocalypse. So there he was, in the midst of ruins, repeatedly trying to jump back in time to get back home but failing to do so. Time-traveling was not an easy thing and perhaps he should have listened to his father this one time. 

But it was too late to look back at his mistakes. He had no choice but to learn to survive in the hostile environment and uninhabitable land which was the last remaining of the planet earth. It was hardship after hardship, just looking for something to eat was almost impossible. At this rate nothing could gross him out anymore, a dead rat or a couple of cockroaches were a good enough meal for him. Despite this and the many other inconveniences of living in a literal wasteland, he had one source of happiness, and her name was Delores. 

Five had found her in a department store, and it was love at first sight. He knew very well that she was a mannequin, but Delores was the closest thing to a human he could find in that horrid place. Despite her missing half of her body, and an arm as well. Her wig was gone as well, but Five had managed to find her some clothes and he changed her outfits daily, sequins were her favorite. It had been five years since they started their relationship and tonight was their anniversary. He had been lucky enough to find some wine, which happened to be Delores' favorite wine. Five was trying to make a nice candlelit dinner for him and his mannequin girlfriend, wholeheartedly hoping to impress his girl. 

"Ah, there you are Delores, I've been expecting you." 

He said with a small grin, pretending she had just walked in the room when she had been sitting a few meters away from him the entire time he was setting the dinner up. 

"I couldn't find a table but I did find this blanket, so I guess it'll be a picnic dinner." 

He stood up from the ground, dusting off his uniform before walking towards her and picking her up as gently as he could before sitting her down on the picnic blanket. 

"Yes, I know you said you wanted a romantic candlelit dinner but damn it, Delores, this is the best I can get in the post-apocalyptic world, be a bit more grateful." 

Five frowned, crossing his arms as he stared at her emotionless face for a few seconds before letting out a sigh. 

"Alright, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken to you in that tone on our anniversary. Will you forgive me if I tell you I got us some Bordeaux? I know it's your favorite." 

He popped the bottle open, taking a sip from it before placing the bottle in front of her as if she was going to pick it up and have a frunk as well. 

"The candles? Couldn't find any but I lit a bonfire for us. Yes, I know that's not what you wanted and I'm sorry." 

Five wasn't too thrilled with the attitude Delores was giving him that night. Then again, they were way over their honeymoon phase. Five years of relationship had taught them both a lot, and he wasn't a child anymore, he was now a fully grown adult. 

"As for dinner, I found a can of pickles. No, they're not expired! Pickles don't ever expire! You know what? I'm not hungry anymore." 

He left the can on the side, unwilling to check the expiration date despite her demand. Instead, he snatched back the wine bottle and gulped down as much as he could. 

"I'm not drinking too much, it's our anniversary Delores, loosen up a bit. I'm also eighteen now, I can drink as much as I want." 

Five placed the bottle down, he had chugged down at least half of it in just one drink. Maybe Delores was right, he was drinking a bit much. Usually, he would rather have coffee instead but in a post-apocalyptic world, the chances of finding a working coffee machine were rare. 

"Delores, you know I love you, don't say that I don't. I know I can be difficult at times, but it's not easy when we're living like this and you try my patience a lot too." 

Was he starting to lose his mind day by day? Yes. Did he just confess his love to a mannequin? Yes. Was he afraid that the mannequin would abandon him? Yes. 

"You're all that I have, Delores. And I'm all that you have as well. We only have each other in this world, and we have to stick together." 

Five moved closer, bringing Delores on his lap, and held her gently against his chest, resting his head on her stiff shoulder. 

"Huh?" 

He moved away quickly, staring at her in disbelief while still having her sitting on his lap with his arms surrounding her waist. 

"Delores, we can't-" 

Five blinked a few times, a frown appearing between his eyebrows as he glanced at her, as if paying all his attention to everything she was saying. 

"Well, I guess you're right, there's only the two of us here and we are celebrating our anniversary." 

He kept an arm surrounding her waist while the other one went up to her back. He leaned closer to her, closing his eyes as he pressed his lips against her cold plastic mannequin lips. Maybe it was the alcohol affecting him but in just a few seconds of kissing, he already had an erection poking against her stomach. 

"I don't know Delores, this is actually my first time." 

Five mumbled, somewhat nervously with a light blush appearing on his cheeks. He cupped her face with his hands before pulling her into another kiss. Unintentionally rubbing his boner against her torso, letting out a soft groan. 

"Are you sure it's okay...to go on?" 

His eyes were fixed on hers, waiting for a reply as his blush deepened. Just a minute later his hands were on the zipper of her sequin shirt, pulling it out desperately to reveal Delores' naked torso. 

"You're so beautiful, Delores." 

He whispered, looking down at her nakedness before burying his face by the crook of her neck, kissing and licking on her plastic flesh. Five's hands began to move by themselves, exploring Delores' breasts. He cupped them and squished them as much as the mannequin's body allowed him to. Meanwhile, the tent in his pants was only growing larger by the passing second he spent making out with her. 

"Does that feel good?" 

Five asked while sucking on one of her breasts as he thrust his hips against Delores' stomach, trying to get some pleasure for himself. 

"Really? Will that be alright with you?" 

A smirk formed on his lips before he quickly unbuttoned his pants, letting out his throbbing cock and holding it in his hand somewhat shyly for a few seconds as he tried to figure out his next step.

"Here I go then." 

He glanced at her for reassurance before pushing Delores down on the blanket and placing his erection in between her breasts. The tight little space created in the middle of Delores' best attributes. Five squished in effortlessly and let out a whimper when he did so. Feeling a pleasant sensation he was not too familiar with. He slid out of her breasts before moving back inside, biting his bottom lip this time to hold back his sounds. 

"Fuck-" 

Five panted with his second thurst, bucking his hips while he held onto Delores' shoulders while he fucked her breasts. He repeated the action of sliding in and out, enjoying the tightness that surrounded him. He closed his eyes for a few moments, too ashamed to see her face while he did such a sinful thing to her. 

"I'm sorry Delores, I don't think I can hold it back." 

He whispered before he moved a hand away from her shoulder to rub on his tip while he continued to push himself in and out of the space between her breasts. He let out a moan when his finger brushed by his tip, and before he could even react, he was already dripping pre-cum on her chest. Which made his thrusting easier, faster, and even more enjoyable. 

"Shit, Delores, I'm going to-" 

Whitish liquid splashed across Delores' face and chest while Five was trying to catch his breath back. That's when he realized how fucked up the post-apocalyptic world had made him. He was going to figure out a way to return home, even if it was going to take him his whole life, but he couldn't be stuck there forever.

**Author's Note:**

> My sincere apologies to anyone who made the mistake of reading this crack fic. I'm sorry you made that choice, and now you'll never be able to delete the mental image of Five banging a mannequin.


End file.
